something like this

satan_pingu @ 2008-01-03T17:18:00

2008-01-03T17:24:13Z

I told Mum that a return to this state was my 2008 resolution.

satan_pingu @ 2007-12-20T19:11:00

2007-12-20T19:46:03Z

Holiday is one day away *bounce*---my first since I started almost eight months ago (eight! yikes!)
Day one involves a small detour to abscond with the great aunt, then home! There it shall be necessary to hug one dog (Dougal) for about 24 hours until he calms down (perhaps I'll have some ears left by the end). Hopefully we (by whom I mean Dougal and me) shall be allowed to catch up with all the Robin Hood we've missed, and there be rumours of Mum's vegetable soup.

Over the next few weeks, I plan to learn some C++, play with fimo, and read books. Inevitably there shall be some heavy lifting (we're having an extension built, as my great aunt is going to live with us), and it's going to be chilly as there's no central heating at the mo. Good job there are huggable dogs about.

PS Does anyone else think the US casting of State of Play is a bit, well... inverted?
Russell Crowe (formally Brad Pitt) and Ben Affleck (formally Ed Norton (pity)) for John Simm and David Morrissey respectively?! It's obviously going to be a bit different (carbon copy would be pointless, so I look forward to it anyway :)

Caution! Irreverence lies herein.

2007-12-08T20:29:21Z

Okay kixxa! Ready when you are! Dammit!

The following takes place between 8AM and 8-and-a-bit AM

"Orders from on high, apparently."
"No-one's higher than Cuddy," said House, then drained the Vicodin bottle. He sniffed at the patient, who was swathed in bandages and duck tape: "It's sarcoidosis, can I go now?"
Wilson shook his head.
"Hah! Does Cuddy have you on remote, or are there strings?"
"Apparently he was shot with a poisoned dart, while jumping out of a helicopter without a parachute-"
"I'm liking this so far. It's very nearly riveting."
"-in order to diffuse-"
"Yeah, whatever. I guess he threw away the poisoned dart? Figures."
From beside the bed a phone began to ring. A battle-scarred arm, presumably the patient's, delicately lifted the receiver.
"Yes, Mr President. I understand." The patient returned the receiver and sat bolt upright. "You've got to wheel me out of here now! Dammit!"

Beep... Beep... Meep...

Back, and not hot.

2007-11-18T17:11:45Z

"It is strange," said Dave the D11 instrument technician, "you sit there having lunch with these mild-mannered guys every day, but, when the uranium turns up, they have to grab shot guns and strap on flack jackets. And they will shoot you---you can see it in their eyes."

You can imagine what my next thought was.

"So! If I jump over that barrier, are lots of gun-wielding people going to chase after me?"

"Heh! No. That little man will zip out of his office to swear at you. In French."

The little devil on my shoulder began to grin (it almost drove me to snatch an armed policeman's hat once---I blame Plum), but was, as usual, shouted down by the virtuous occupant of the other side. My halo restored, we ambled through the airlock into the inner sanctum. We didn't get to visit the main reactor pool (you have to apply in advance for that) to see the Cerenkov radiation (an eerie blue glow caused by eleccytrons travelling faster than light through the water), but it was fun anyway. This was during a rare quiet moment afforded by a small disagreement between a tree, borne by the River Drac, and the reactor cooling system's filtration unit. Fortunately the reactor's sanity, if not mine, returned quickly, and we did our thing (I'd tell you, but it probably won't brighten your day).

It was a grand place: outside there were mountains (no time to climb though---curses)! Inside, a profusion of pipes, cables, cranes, blinking lights, radiation warning signs, etc. And a sticker that read "Hot Zone, don't stand here." Or some such.

satan_pingu @ 2007-10-25T22:17:00

2007-10-25T20:26:31Z

A little while ago eleanorb posted a link to some science-based tattoos. After the exsanguination this afternoon I was feeling at a low ebb, so...

After Stephanie H. Chanteau and James M. Tour "Synthesis of Anthropomorphic Molecules: The Nanoputians" J. Org. Chem. 2003, 68, 8750--8766

"No, Michael, I don't think your Mum *is* going to be pleased."

Oh, and fear not, the cheek gene isn't expressed :D

Prepare to groan

2007-10-20T09:55:58Z

What did that vampire dalek say?!
Exsanguinate! Exsanguinate! You will be exsanguinated!
(A quick google revealed this to be an obvious joke, but I still like it)

In the kitchen the other day the housemates started throwing (with indiscriminate abandon) mild and personally-directed jokes following on from Richard's (hereafter referred to as Sporty Spice) announcement that, to his lab, Nathan and I are known as Snuff Boy and Fire Boy. Usually I try (very hard, honest) to cap that internal vile of caustic humour (not clever. not funny), but on occasion it leaks... Nathan (ra ra Rasputin) started to diminish his mighty beard thereafter, and today it is to go completely. We might take pictures of it as it grows back. Handle this right and there's a Turner Prize in it! :D

idiotchild is visiting me for the afternoon! We shall go to see the finback whale skeleton, and generally slouch about like the undergrads we once were. Amusingly, she got into some trouble with her Mum for having her head shaved, but, following her Dad's observation that Jaq (in last year's Robin Hood) looked quite fetching with a similar look, all is well.

satan_pingu @ 2007-10-05T11:34:00

2007-10-05T10:58:46Z

Following on from yesterday's post, an email arrived this morning:

Dear Stuart and Michael,

Unfortunately there is bad news: Our reactor had to be shut down today, and will not restart before the beginning of the next cycle. Your experiment next week has to be canceled and will presumably go into backlog (to be confirmed).

Best wishes

Roland

And according to the ILL website:

The rector had to be shut down on Friday, 5 October at 11:15 am. It will not be restarted during the present cycle which was scheduled to end on 17 October. As scheduled, the next reactor cycle will begin on Tuesday, 30 October 2007 at 8:30 am.

Well. At least I didn't break it.
I'm just going for a quiet lie down now.

satan_pingu @ 2007-10-04T19:45:00

2007-10-04T19:17:32Z

Well me hearties (making up for forgetting Speak-like-a-Pirate day for the nth year running)! This Sunday I fly off to France to play with a nuclear reactor. If you never hear from me again, and a small mushroom cloud appears on the horizon...

Anyway.

I've been running about lots to get things ready. Most things that could go wrong have, and utterly. And I'm feeling very stressed, which has been going on for quite a few weeks now, and was not been helped by a small incident that necessitated the attendance of the fire service. You know that bit in Four Weddings and a Funeral when Hugh Grant realises he has forgotten the rings of power, and turns to John Hannah the friendly hobbit? John Hannah's reaction, as I recall, it might be complete fabrication on my part, is to give an amused/despairing look accompanied by head-in-hand type-thing. That's pretty much the treatment I've been getting (for the record, there was no damage, no-one was hurt, there was no fire, and there was no danger to Man, nor to all the cows who somewhat inexplicably wander about outside (though that might have something to do with the bunnies)). I don't know about you chaps, but stress manifests itself in me by significantly quietening me down; indeed, there have been fewer of the usual shenanigans, and I've struggled with conversation, which isn't usually a problem (I didn't start to talk until I was about three, and have made up for it ever since---Mum says I was thinking).

Anyway.

In spite of being taciturn of late, and almost humourless, I've made some lovely new friends (actually, when normal service is resumed, I'm worried they'll flee to the hills). And when I get back, I have the prospect of lots supervisions. Point and laugh as I teach electrochemistry. There should be some polymers too, which is grand.

Anyway.

Bisous.

satan_pingu @ 2007-09-20T18:41:00

2007-09-20T18:14:53Z

We have a new housemate. He has extremely chunky boots, a mighty beard, and a penchant for snuff! I forget how the latter entered into conversation, but I was intrigued. I'd seen such a thing in numerous Scarlet Pimpernel films, but hadn't witnessed such a thing in real life. Nathan cheerfully produced a tin of the stuff and demonstrated for me. His eyes bulged and watered profusely and he was obliged to move, with some speed, to his room to fetch a handkerchief (I thought I could hear a concussive sneeze, but that was probably wishful thinking on my part). He spent the next 15 minutes delicately dabbing at his nose. I wasn't keen to try this as a result: I spend so much time avoiding milder carcinogens in the lab after all! I've never seen the appeal of stimulants (probably because I tend to get hyper with chocolate). I did once get drunk on my 21st birthday, which was interesting, but I digress. In conclusion, I am exceptionally pleased with the new housemate. I hereby promise not to put pepper in his snuff tin, despite the obvious temptation.

In other news. Generally, I'm a fairly relaxed person, so I'm a little perturbed that the geologist incident happened again today. With the same geologist. Again with the kettle. I cheerfully admit to possessing very little of that Steve McQueen cool.

satan_pingu @ 2007-09-13T17:02:00

2007-09-13T16:20:49Z

While ambling out of one of the labs this afternoon (head in the clouds, as usual) I was oblivious to a (tiny) geologist (with kettle) descending from upstairs. Startled, when I almost crashed into her, I'm ashamed to confess, I think I actually screamed. Audibly. To her credit, she seemed entirely unperturbed by this and proceeded to the kitchen (with kettle). The Earth Scientists (a thoroughly trendy bunch) regard us as being slightly strange and generally avoid us; I suppose I'm not helping matters.

satan_pingu @ 2007-09-08T14:54:00

2007-09-08T13:57:14Z

Hm.


	Minimal: You would most likely not get caught, but if you did, it would be due to technological developments arising after the case had gone cold.


from QuizGalaxy.com

Caution: drivel to follow

2007-09-02T12:14:49Z

Before it gets messed up, some magnetic fridge poetry (run for the hills!)

words smell your tears
so yield to my naughty hug
made fun for mornings
that would seem perfect
were they not so wrong

and

shine shade muse
you're forever mine
written in needy play
pressed here
sorry
~
~
~

satan_pingu @ 2007-08-24T12:43:00

2007-08-24T11:59:58Z

I found a sinister sticker on our (not-so)shiny, (not-so)new malvern mastersizer that reads "Do Not Use..." I fear the worst. So! Some of my Blake's 7 fic, so I don't lose it.

Novelty Song Challenge (Hello Avon, Hello Jenna)
Mix and match challenge (Orbit Avon)---caution: puerile humour
Special talents challenge (Gotcha) I don't think people liked that one, not sure why. Too much boot, probably.
Sand at the Edge of the World

With thanks to the inspiring vilakins, astrogirl2, and assorted chaps at b7friday!

Don't look now

2007-08-21T17:36:18Z

I didn't fall in here, sorry (From L to R: A nitwit, Mel, Jess, Snoz, Paul).

Doh!

2007-08-08T13:35:29Z

Don't you think it's strange that certain concepts remain in the brainbox seemingly in perpetuity, whereas other, often more useful ones, such as French, leak out through the ears (earwax: the detritus of dead dreams and forgotten memory)? It is nevertheless disconcerting when you discover that one of these well remembered facts is just plain wrong. Worst still is the realisation that you never questioned it, despite it being unbelievably silly (in my noggin that's practically camouflage). The idea was, and please laugh not too loudly, I have feelings you know, that the zebra is far more closely related to the hippo than it is to the horse. I burn with shame as I type that. As far as I can make out, the idea was placed when I was about 6, and I think I treasured it because it revealed, what I thought to be, the stunning truth that the universe is less simple than it often appears. The topic up until Monday, had never been introduced into polite conversation, and I'd not bothered to check it---mostly because I trusted the person who told me (not a member of my immediate family I should add). Anyway, at coffee, on Monday, this, now tarnished, jem fitted neatly into some discourse. The rest of the table stared dumbfounded at me, and so I nodded my wise nod and smiled my wise smile, and they were convinced (well so was I!). Anyway, in brandishing the zebra-hippo duality, some saner part of my mind said "eh?!" and maybe even "stupid boy!" Following on from that, I thought I'd better check Wikipedia, and...

Here is some of my recent graffiti applied to Jie's whiteboard next door (Adrian having filled ours up with proper work, and mitched off for a few weeks). Jie is the lecturer in Fluid Mechanics who featured earlier in proceedings.

satan_pingu @ 2007-07-25T09:17:00

2007-07-25T08:28:24Z

I promise not to post any more pictures from my youth (for a substantial while, at least), but this one has surfaced, from my undergraduate days, and seems to provoke some hilarity in those who've already seen it (with the notable exception of my mum), so I thought I'd share the mirth.

satan_pingu @ 2007-07-22T22:14:00

2007-07-22T21:45:27Z

My sister phoned me earlier. The conversation went something like this...
R: You remember my friend Ray the Physics teacher? [It should be explained at this juncture that my sister is also a teacher, and commands the requisite stern tones and chilling stare]
Me: Yes, er, yes I do.
R: Well she was wondering if you'd visit our school, look at her class' science projects, and generally enthuse her pupils.
Me: OK, no worries.
R: She has this bunch of 11 year-olds who are really keen, and she thinks it'd help them to see you, because you're just like them...
Me: But, I'm not 11...
R: Sorry, I keep forgetting.

A friend posted this picture on Facebook recently:

Now then I *was* eleven! And a quarter! As to where the intervening 17 years have gone, I've no idea. It's scary to think that someone born on that day could be learning to drive now... *gulp*

A rare flash of life.

2007-07-20T08:23:35Z

Yesterday evening I thought I glimpsed someone I knew (well not quite knew, or know, but had met previously); I wasn't sure, and accursed shyness kicked in, so I didn't amble over to say hello. As per usual, upon waking, my brain seems to cast aside doubt; I'd sooner not trust it, for there lies foolishness. Nonetheless I feel wretched, for, should my brain be correct, I'd have liked to have said hello. Idiot.

It was a grand time, as, for a change, I ignored Kafka, breathed deeply, saw marvelous spectacle and tragedy; and shivered.

satan_pingu @ 2007-07-09T09:14:00

2007-07-09T08:19:00Z

I love the New York Times.
"The result is part car commercial, part military recruitment ad, a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic, big breasts."
http://movies2.nytimes.com/2007/07/02/movies/02tran.html

Nice meme

2007-06-30T11:48:48Z

A meme via lil_banik_slave and jhall1...
If you'd care to, after seeing this, post a quote from Doctor Who in your journal...

I have to really want to, to bring them back in front of my eyes;
the rest of the time they sleep in my mind, and I forget.

satan_pingu @ 2007-06-19T01:13:00

2007-06-19T00:56:30Z

A friend recently showed me a picture, from my primary school, taken while we acted in The Roses of Eyam. We were so diminutive that we seem like puritan hobbits to mine eyes. A later school production (not the same school) was Murder in the Cathedral, in which the lower sixth took the principle parts while four of the fourth year (myself included) were the Greek chorus---the Women of Canterbury (which provoked much giggling among our classmates).The first night went off without a hitch. The second was, well...

We'd got half way through, and then reached a complicated sequence in which the Greek chorus (Us) and the knights (Them) had some intercalating dialogue. For some reason I decided that one of my lines might sound better if delivered via my less-than-finest Paul Darrow impression, which I duly did. The general consensus from Them later was that it was this that caused the knight, who was to succeed me dialogue-wise, to succumb to a giggling fit; our contention that he'd merely forgotten his lines was met with a degree of violence (more of that later). Unfortunately the giggling became contagious, much to the bemusement of the audience, who'd already cottoned on to the fact that Thomas Becket had taped most of his script to the back of the alter, various pillars, etc. and hence were less inclined to appreciate any further funny business on our part.

We forged on without further incident until I forgot one of my lines. It was something completely unlike "Lo, a verdant mist descends" or somesuch. I had the sense of it, but all I could think of was "So we three alone in all the world can produce the finest green at will?" Which I knew not only to be wrong, but extremely silly, and my Sir Percy impression would not be appreciated by Father Oliver. I've mentioned before that there is relatively little poetry in my soul, and I knew that any declaration along the lines of "ooh look! Green stuff!" wasn't going to fool the audience, no doubt stuffed to the gills with Elliot buffs. Something poetic was needed, and- but my cue arrived all too soon. In desperation I bolted forth with "Is this some *gulp* green stuff I see before me?!"

Our English teacher (who'd not been involved in this production) gently gnawed on his knuckles, while a definite trembling mirth was conveyed by his shoulders. Meanwhile a knight continued to lean laconically against a pillar, unknowing that his own cue, impenetrably disguised, had just passed him by.

Later, and as per script, Thomas Beckett was duly dispatched, and, slightly later still, so was I (in the car park) by the same aggrieved knights; their foil-wrapped metre-rule swords glinted in the moonlight, I recall.

satan_pingu @ 2007-06-13T21:53:00

2007-06-13T21:08:35Z

There was a quiz doing the rounds on Facebook offering the dubious opportunity to process a photo of you, and compare the ensuing measurements to those of celebrities. Initially I didn't like the idea, but eventually I succumbed. I wish I hadn't. What followed felt very much like an Arthur Dent moment: I was even clad in a dressing gown.
Computer: "You look like a girl."
Me: "I most certainly do not!!"
Computer: "Not only do you look like a girl, you look like the following girls: Jessica Simpson, Madonnna, JK Rowling, the moppet who plays Hermione Granger, etc.
Me: "But, but, but..."
Computer: "But me no buts."

On occasion my former better half used to say that I reminded her of James McAvoy. This I always put down to ludicrous wishful thinking on her part. But when I walked past James McAvoy last year the notion that crossed my mind was "There's something familiar about that odd looking girl, and why's she looking at me funny?"

Oh dear.

*strikes manly pose, does some press-ups*

satan_pingu @ 2007-06-05T22:52:00

2007-06-05T21:54:49Z

Via jhall1 and lil_banik_slave

So, satan_pingu, your LiveJournal reveals...

You are... 9% unique
(blame, for example, your interest in tormenting postdocs)
and 8% herdlike
(partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy writing).
When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please.

Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 42

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 84% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

42!!!
What does it mean by weird?

satan_pingu @ 2007-06-02T18:45:00

2007-06-02T18:05:01Z

I've only been here a few weeks and already I'm lowering the tone. Adrian's white board used to be a haven for the serene contemplation of applied mathematics. Not any more...

The golden bath was inspired by jenlev's post. Adrian coloured the bath in, such is my corrupting influence. The chap with the palm tree is modeled on a certain lecturer in fluid mechanics who yesterday spent 20 minutes wondering in and out of our office dressed, despite the heat, as though he were about to embark on a trip with the British Antarctic Survey chaps from across the road. Adrian added a bald patch but, upon ambling in this morning, I've found he's filled it in again.

And chaos still rules on my desk.

satan_pingu @ 2007-05-29T10:14:00

2007-05-29T09:34:27Z

I was innocently jotting down a few scribblings and equations when there was a sudden and squelching impact on my office window. I think I may have mentioned before the brain's mechanism for inferring a pattern from a visual cue, rather than directly interpreting it, which lead to the unfortunate and embarrassing incident of the ghost cat. Well this time, my mischievous neurons shrieked "Is's a bloody TRIFFID!" And as a result I fear I may have squeaked. That I did shoot backwards and crash into Adrian's (the mathematician of legend) desk and upset his bin, is beyond dispute.
The Triffid-like object, it transpired, was some new fangled device for cleaning windows, but I suspect its wrangler derives much malicious enjoyment from splatting it upon the glass with percussive vim to disturb any unsuspecting occupants. Also, Adrian said they almost got him as he walked in (before lunch today, a new record)... A salient lesson then: Beware window cleaners with a sense of humour.